Fic: "Ultraviolet Light"

[wave_of_sorrow]

Title: Ultraviolet Light
Author: wave_of_sorrow
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Holmes/Watson
Rating: PG
Word Count: 562
Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't claim. No money being made.
Summary: He is in the darkness before he meets Watson.
Spoilers/Warnings: None
A/N: Fill for a prompt at shkinkmeme Based on/inspired by U2's Ultraviolet (Light My Way)

Comments are love, bbs!

 

He is in the darkness before he meets Watson, the night is a black cloak around his shoulders, obscuring him, hiding him, protecting him, with him at all times, even in broad daylight, harsh and cruel for the sun knows no mercy. The dark is heavy on his shoulders, weighing down down down, but it is a weight he carries gladly. He is safe here, in the darkness, when he can see everybody else, but no one can see him, his reflection in the looking-glass is blurred even to his own eyes.

 

But then he meets Watson and Watson is bright and blinding and beautiful, like a supernova seen up close, too close, far too close. And suddenly the dark isn’t heavy anymore, instead it glides over his skin with hummingbird softness, like silk and summer rain. He used to think he knew everything about people, but he didn’t. Watson lights his way, makes him realize that he was blind before, makes him see, see all the things he never saw, because they’re beneath the surface, hidden like a pearl, a treasure, a secret. He sees them now. The things he couldn’t see and the things he didn’t want to see. It’s harder now, harder than before, because he has to factor emotions into his equations. And love, yes, love too. And that makes them inaccurate, because love, love is unpredictable and overwhelming and dangerous and a bright light, a Northern Star. And a secret. A secret that is being passed around. A secret that everybody knows.

 

Watson is his light when he’s messed up and has the opera playing in his head and is yearning for the darkness of the cocaine. Or maybe Watson isn’t light. Maybe Watson only makes the light more bearable. Because he is a different kind of light, more blinding and darker, somehow. Less harsh and more revealing. Not as cruel, gentler, in a way. Sometimes he doesn’t know what Watson is. And then, sometimes he feels dirty and used and useless, like trash, thrown away carelessly, and Watson makes him feel clean and cherished and loved. And sometimes he thinks Watson is all he ever wanted without knowing it. They fill the nights with whispers and moans and explosions of ultraviolet light.

 

And then Watson leaves and lights her way instead. In the days before Watson goes to live with her there is silence. Silence during breakfast and silence at a crime scene and silence in the sitting room. And then there is the silence at night, a silence that is different, a silence that comes to a house where no one can sleep; thick, heavy, suffocating, cold and merciless and weighing down down down.

 

He can’t see it anymore now. He is blind, blinded, and Watson doesn’t make him see anymore. Darkness wraps itself around him again and he can no longer see his reflection in the looking-glass. The days are dark and the nights are long and he begs Watson to please, light my way, but he can’t say it and Watson doesn’t hear his silence anymore. And he thinks that maybe, maybe he wasn’t blind before he met Watson, maybe he could see some things and was blinded, maybe he was just too close to a supernova, stared at it for too long.

 

Maybe it was the price of love, to go blind.



Comments

[blacktablet.livejournal.com]

Maybe it was the price of love, to go blind.

I am trying not to cry because mum's visiting and she'd want to know why I'm sobbing my heart out. ;_; I love your writing. So. Much. The metaphors of darkness and light, and Watson being a supernova, they're so goddamn beautiful. <3

(And hey bb, graduation party hassle is going on, so I won't be able to reply to your inspiring and awe-inviting email until early next week. I've not disappeared off the face of the earth, I swear. :>)

[parparheaven.livejournal.com]

Oh, my heart....*sniffs* so beautiful and heart breaking. You have a wonderful way with words, I'm moved time and time again <333

(btw, added you as a friend :) *points*)

[rividori.livejournal.com]

This was truly lovely.

[almightyspaz.livejournal.com]

This is so sad, but so good.

[tabby-stardust.livejournal.com]

Oh.

This is gorgeous and makes my heart ache. The imagery is beautiful and I love the rhythm you create with repetition of words at certain places.

[ends-of-time.livejournal.com]

Oh God, that was gorgeous. I've never heard the song this is based on, but it doesn't matter, because this is poignant and heartfelt and lovely. Truly lovely. Thanks so much for sharing!

For the record, that last line broke my heart. Into a thousand tiny pieces. and I'm kind of obsessing over how beautifully it was written.

[wlk68.livejournal.com]

So sad. *wibble*

[stephiel.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow... what can I add to the vocabulary of compliments which have already been mentioned?

I'm wiping away a tear as I read, and trying not to sniffle too loudly. This is so incredibly, heart-breakingly beautiful.

Well done, bb. :)

[babytun.livejournal.com]

Mieh, really, really beuatiful and sad. And so intelligent and philosohical... just.... wonderful. Thanks for sharing!

[ciderapples.livejournal.com]

Poor Holmes! I can imagine him in his little room, firing shots at the wall, but there's no Watson to come drag him out. The metaphor of ultraviolet light was really apt; I feel like for Holmes, who has never seen the same world as everyone else, Watson's illumination would be a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Very sad but very lovely.

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

Very evocative!

[kichisama.livejournal.com]

oh, poor Holmes, it makes me so sad! LOVE IT!!! XD

[moxy-apricot.livejournal.com]

OH MY FUCKING WORD BB.

THIS IS HANDS DOWN THE BEST THING I'VE EVER READ.

WOW.

JUST - WOW.

I CANT COPY MY FAVE BIT CUZ THE WHOLE DAMN FIC IS MY FAVE BIT.

THE DARKNESS-LIGHTING CONTRAST AND THEIR DESCRIPTIONS, MIXED WITH EMOTIONS.... JFC.

I NEED TO SAVE THIS OR BOOKMARK IT OR COPY IT AND PRINT IT, I JUST NEED THIS IN MY LIFE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

(btw i'm sorry i went all capslock on you, but holy sh-fuck, dude. i love you.)