And in the dark, stars glowed on the skin of Holmes’ neck and sparkled in the skies in his eyes. -- And Watson cherished the precious gem, given to him so long ago without ever asking for anything in return.
I'm trying not to cry at the sheer beauty of that paragraph, of the love in their relationship, but as the screen before me appears quite blurry, I think it's a losing fight. I mean, the whole fic is fantastic with them not quite knowing what to do and fighting, and then figuring it out and, augh. I loves ♥
(For once I have a tiny bit of concrit to offer. :D It's about the last two paragraphs. You see, personally I think that ending the fic after the paragraph I quoted would be better than ending it with the additional paragraph after it. The part about other things being more intimate than sex is important to the fic, but I feel it breaks the flow of reading a bit. "The hardest part", even though it's been mentioned nowhere, sort of comes out of nowhere after a really beautiful paragraph about them in the dark and how Holmes loves Watson. Idk, just a gut feeling. :3)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2010-05-22 09:38 am (UTC)I'm trying not to cry at the sheer beauty of that paragraph, of the love in their relationship, but as the screen before me appears quite blurry, I think it's a losing fight. I mean, the whole fic is fantastic with them not quite knowing what to do and fighting, and then figuring it out and, augh. I loves ♥
(For once I have a tiny bit of concrit to offer. :D It's about the last two paragraphs. You see, personally I think that ending the fic after the paragraph I quoted would be better than ending it with the additional paragraph after it. The part about other things being more intimate than sex is important to the fic, but I feel it breaks the flow of reading a bit. "The hardest part", even though it's been mentioned nowhere, sort of comes out of nowhere after a really beautiful paragraph about them in the dark and how Holmes loves Watson. Idk, just a gut feeling. :3)